Marriage Advice

Marriage Advice

I came across this posting on Facebook and I had to share. After reading it, write the advice you would give to your children or grandchildren for having a successful marriage?
Enjoy the journey,
Lyn

THE BEST MARRIAGE ADVICE EVER!!

Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

 

Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.

Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

 

In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!

 

Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

 

Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

 

When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.

 

Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.

Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone Else. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.

 

Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!

Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.

Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.

 

When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!

Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each .


 

10 TIPS FOR RELATIONSHIPS

10 TIPS FOR RELATIONSHIPS

February is a great month to examine your relationship with the special person in your life. Often we find relationships lose their spark as time passes. Partners start taking each other for granted and begin dwelling on the negative traits of their significant other instead of the positive. Here's  a list of 10 Tips that I've put together that will help put the pizzazz back in your relationship, and more important... the respect.

 

10 Tips for a Successful Relationship

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. There will be enough big things to worry about. Learn to let the little things slide.
  • Say I love you often. Don’t let a day go by without say these three simple words. Let there be no doubt in your partners mind that you mean it when you say it.
  • Take time for each other. There will be a lot of things in life that will demand your time. Plan a date night each week to ensure you spend quality time together.
  • Make your time together special. Take turns planning something different to do on date night… a moonlight hike, roller skating in the park, or a picnic on the beach. Go the extra mile to do activities that will build memories.
  • Enjoy having different opinions. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if everyone believed the same thing. Likewise, learn to appreciate your partners opinion, although different from yours.
  • Do the little unexpected things. It’s often the small things that make the biggest impact – a love you note on a pillow or in a lunch bucket, flowers for no reason, preparing an unexpected romantic meal, or giving your spouse a back rub when they’re tired or stressed.
  • Appreciate the things your significant other does for you. Often, couples get so caught up in daily routines, they forget to appreciate the things their spouse does for them. A simple thank you goes a long way. A nice I appreciate all you do for me note can make a person’s day seem a little brighter.
  • Compromise.It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about reaching middle ground. Learn to compromise so that both you and your spouse can come out winners.
  • Don’t be afraid to say I’m sorry. Several friends have told me these two words are extremely hard for them to say. Saying your sorry doesn’t always mean you were wrong. Those two words can mean I’m sorry we had a fight over this, or I’m sorry I raised my voice. Perhaps it’s just being able to admit you aren’t perfect that makes you a little easier to live with.
  • Don’t say negative things about your partner to others. Always have his or her back, even when they may be wrong.

I encourage you to write your own list with the help of your partner. Make this the year to strengthen your relationship to ensure it lasts a lifetime. Feel free to add your Tips for a Successful Relationship in the comment section below.

    We'd love to hear from you.

 

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Legacy Writing: Darn, Life is Tough

Legacy Writing: Darn, Life is Tough

In the last blog, I wrote about the importance of sharing the difficult times as you write your personal stories. That got me to thinking about some of the hard times I have experienced in my life.

As young adults, my husband and I moved to Wyoming .He was an electrician and eventually built and sold solar homes. I loved it! I loved every stage of building a home from developing the plans to laying the footings andputting up the walls and to adding the final finishing touches and decorating. We had built a number of homes, and the last one was on a few acres with a pondin the back yard where deer bedded at night and a creek running in front. It was beautiful.

Unfortunately, some situations occurred that caused our marriage to fall apart. We divorced and, after years of living in the beautiful homes we had built, I moved to a small log cabin with five of my children. My heart ached as I arranged our sparse furnishings in the small, worn rooms. Not only had I lost a person who was very important to my children and me, but I had also lost a lifestyle.

After a lot of tears, I decided I needed to put things into perspective. A house is a house, is a house, but wherever you and your family live is your home. Whether it is a small one-room shack or a palace, the actual dwelling doesn't matter. The family is the heart of the home.

Today, a lot of people have had similar experiences because they were terminated from their jobs, lost retirement savings when the stock market plunged, or were divorced. Whatever the reason, it’s important to keep things in perspective -- a house is a house, but the family is the heart of the home. Thank God every day for the things you do have and it is easier to endure the losses in your life.

What were some of the tough times you endured and learned from?

Legacy Writing: Marriage is Challenging

Legacy Writing: Marriage is Challenging

My step son was married last weekend. As he stood hand-in-hand with his beautiful bride, I thought about the challenges they would face in the years ahead. Marriage is not easy.

I put together a list of things a couple can do to make sure their marriage lasts.  It's something I can give to each of my grandchild and great-grandchild when they are married.

10 Tips for a Successful Marriage

by Grandma Lynda

 

  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. There will be enough big things to worry about. Learn to let the little things slide.
  2. Say I love you often. Don't let a day go by without say these three simple words. Let there be no doubt in your spouses mind that you mean it when you say it.
  3. Take time for each other. There will be a lot of things in life that will demand your time. Plan a date night each week to ensure you spend quality time together.
  4. Make your time together special. Take turns planning something different to do on date night... a moonlight hike, roller skating in the park, or a picnic on the beach. Go the extra mile to do activities that will build memories.
  5. Enjoy having different opinions. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if everyone believed the same thing. Likewise, learn to appreciate your partners opinion, although different from yours.
  6. Do the little unexpected things. It's often the small things that make the biggest impact – a love you note on a pillow or in a lunch bucket, flowers for no reason, preparing an unexpected romantic meal, or giving your spouse a back rub when they're tired or stressed.
  7. Appreciate the things your spouse does for you. Often, couples get so caught up in daily routines, they forget to appreciate the things their spouse does for them. A simple thank you goes a long way. A nice I appreciate all you do for me note can make a person's day seem a little brighter.
  8. Compromise.It's not about being right or wrong, it's about reaching middle ground. Learn to compromise so that both you and your spouse can come out winners.
  9. Don't be afraid to say I'm sorry. Several friends have told me these two words are extremely hard for them to say. Saying your sorry doesn't always mean you were wrong. Those two words can mean I'm sorry we had a fight over this, or I'm sorry I raised my voice. Perhaps it's just being able to admit you aren't perfect that makes you a little easier to live with.
  10. Don't say negative things about your spouse to others. Always have your spouses back, even when they may be wrong.

What can you add to this list? Or perhaps you have your own list. Please send your suggestions to info@yourlegacyyourlife.com and we’ll include some in a future newsletter.

Legacy Writing: Twenty Tips to Avoid a Divorce

Legacy Writing: Twenty Tips to Avoid a Divorce

In my blog last week, Ilisted things a couple could do to make their marriage last. Then I came across this one that went viral on the Internet - Marriage Advice I Wish I Would Have Had.

After being married to a woman he loved for 16 years, Gerald Rogers found himself going through a divorce. He wrote a list of  things he wish he would have done differently. It starts with:

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don't take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

The list includes 20 items and he ends with this summary:

In the end marriage isn't about happily ever after. It's about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

You can find the complete list at:http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/beautiful-advice-from-a-divorced-man-after-16-years-of-marriage/

What a great way for Mr. Rogers to help his posterity avoid the same mistakes he has made.  Make sure you share the wisdom you've gained throughout the years with future generations.

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