Mixed Messages

Mixed Messages

MIXED MESSAGES AMONG GENERATIONS

While there is a genuine love and fondness between grandparents, parents and grandchildren, often communication is difficult because of the generation gap. As a grandmother, I know I'm somewhat dismayed as my grandkids get tattoed and I really don't understand how piercings in eyebrows, cheeks, nose and tongue can be considered attractive. Of course to my grandchildren I'm just old fashioned.

Unfortunately the "generation gap" extends to our verbal communication as well. I can remember when my grandchildren were taking a walk with grandpa... all barefooted. Grandpa turned to the oldest one and said, "Will you run back to the house and get my thongs?"

As all the grandchildren gasped, grandpa quickly figured out that his definition of "thong" or flip-flops as they are called today, is quite different from the extremely brief panties that our kids and grandkids refer to as thongs today.

Grandparents often share with their granchildren how they had to walk miles to school in the cold of winter, while the kids may be dealing with issues that far exceed anything their grandparents or parents could imagine.

To help overcome misunderstandings and to better relate to the challenges each generation faces/faced, your family might try this exercise... Now and Then.

Invite members of different generations to participate -- kids, parents and grandparents. Once you've gathered, have your group respond to the questions, one at a time. Remember to include the emotional element to your answers. By doing this each member will start to understand that along with being different, there are many similarities between the generations. For example, the feelings a person experiences when falling in love, or losing a loved one.

NOW & THEN

  1. I love(d)/hate(d) being a teenager because ....'No, grandma, hashtags are not something you order with eggs.'
  2. My life is (was) stressful because ...
  3. My parents don't (didn't) understand that ...
  4. School is (was) ...
  5. Some of my friends are (were) ....
  6. My best friend is (was) ...
  7. I want(ed) to be ...
  8. I want(ed to go ...
  9. I would like (wanted) to buy ...
  10. My favorite thing to do is (was) ...
  11. My favorite movie is (was) ...
  12. A person I admire(d) is (was) ....
  13. My mom is (was) ...
  14. My dad is (was) ...
  15. My brothers and sisters are (were) ...
  16. I hate(d) doing ...
  17. I hate(d) going ....
  18. Life would be (have been) easier if ...
  19. My goals are (were) to ...
  20. If I could (have) change(d) one thing, it would be (have been) ...

Many of the questions are vague creating an opportunity to ask questions of each person. Be interested .... and non-judgement.

This exercise can create a bond, a real understanding between generations that will help members to appreciate and better understand the challenges faced by each.

 

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Your Legacy

Your Legacy

YOUR LEGACY IS YOUR LIFE

 

Forty years ago my mom and dad became snowbirds, abiding in Yuma, Arizona for six months of the year in an effort to avoid the cold, snowy Idaho winters. After my dad passed away, I insisted on accompanying my mother on her annual journey as a safety measure – after all a woman shouldn’t be driving that distance by herself.

 

Little did I know that I would come to value those yearly treks as we talked almost the entire distance of nearly 900 miles, enjoying our one-on-one time. I learned so much about her and her early life; yet knowing I would forget some of the stories, I encouraged her to write them down.

 

Six years ago, when my mother passed away, I found a folder filled with life stories she had written … some she had shared with me and others were new. As I read them, some made me laugh, others made me cry and all gave me a better understanding of who she was as a person. I soon realized that these stories were my mother’s legacy.

 

As I shared with friends the treasures I had inherited in these stories, all could relate. Some said they wish their parents or grandparents had written their life stories, some said their parents had and they were so glad they did, while others admitted they really needed to start writing their own memories.

 

Some people have commented, “Who would want to read about my life? It’s so boring.” To them I respond, “That’s just not true. Everyone has a story to tell!”

 

If you don’t think your life is interesting, consider these questions:

 

  • What changes have occurred throughout your lifetime? (technology, travel, cost of goods, education, social behavior)
  • What difficulties have you experienced and what lessons did you learn from them? (Sharing the lessons we learned will help our children and grandchildren better face their own challenges.)
  • Who are some of the people or events that have influenced your life? In what way?
  • What are some of the values and beliefs you cherish and would like to pass on to your posterity? Why?

 

If these questions don’t convince you that your life is of interest to others or that you have an important message to share, then ask yourself, “If I had a chance to talk with a deceased relative about his or her life, would I want to?” I think most of us would. I wish I had asked my grandfather who passed away at the age of 93 about his experiences as a missionary, requiring him to leave behind a wife and three young children. I wish I could talk with my dad about his wartime memories. I wonder what my great-grandmother’s life was like as a polygamist’s wife.

 

Just as you have a thirst to learn more about your ancestors, your posterity will want to know about you and the life you have lived. Legacy writing provides a bond between generations, a rope to guide us through the difficulties that life may deal us, and a thread interwoven into our DNA that helps us to better understand who we are.

 

Start today to capture your memories for your posterity. Remember, “Your legacy is more than the fame or fortune you may have acquired, it is the life you have lived.”


 

Your Story

Your Story

YOUR LEGACY IS YOUR LIFE!

Thirty years ago my mom and dad became snowbirds, abiding in Yuma, Arizona for six months of the year in an effort to avoid the cold, snowy Idaho winters. After my dad passed away, I insisted on accompanying my mother on her annual journey as a safety measure – after all a woman shouldn’t be driving that distance by herself.

Little did I know that I would come to value those yearly treks as we talked almost the entire distance of nearly 900 miles, enjoying our one-on-one time. I learned so much about her and her early life; yet knowing I would forget some of the stories, I encouraged her to write them down.

Six years ago, when my mother passed away, I found a folder filled with life stories she had written … some she had shared with me and others were new. As I read them, some made me laugh, others made me cry and all gave me a better understanding of who she was as a person. I soon realized that these stories were my mother’s legacy.

As I shared with friends the treasures I had inherited in these stories, all could relate. Some said they wish their parents or grandparents had written their life stories, some said their parents had and they were so glad they did, while others admitted they really needed to start writing their own memories.

Some people have commented, “Who would want to read about my life? It’s so boring.” To them I respond, “That’s just not true. Everyone has a story to tell!”

If you don’t think your life is interesting, consider these questions:

  • What changes have occurred throughout your lifetime? (technology, travel, cost of goods, education, social behavior)
  • What difficulties have you experienced and what lessons did you learn from them? (Sharing the lessons we learned will help our children and grandchildren better face their own challenges.)
  • Who are some of the people or events that have influenced your life? In what way?
  • What are some of the values and beliefs you cherish and would like to pass on to your posterity? Why?

If these questions don’t convince you that your life is of interest to others or that you have an important message to share, then ask yourself, “If I had a chance to talk with a deceased relative about his or her life, would I want to?” I think most of us would. I wish I had asked my grandfather who passed away at the age of 93 about his experiences as a missionary, requiring him to leave behind a wife and three young children. I wish I could talk with my dad about his wartime memories. I wonder what my great-grandmother’s life was like as a polygamist’s wife.

Just as you have a thirst to learn more about your ancestors, your posterity will want to know about you and the life you have lived. Legacy writing provides a bond between generations, a rope to guide us through the difficulties that life may deal us, and a thread interwoven into our DNA that helps us to better understand who we are.

Start today to capture your memories for your posterity. Remember, “Your legacy is more than the fame or fortune you may have acquired, it is the life you have lived.”

Costa Rica Vacation

Costa Rica Vacation

VACATIONS BUILD MEMORIES

For the past two weeks I've been vacationing in Costa Rica with 10 members of my family (4 daughters, son, three son-in-laws and my ex-husband -- my husband couldn't go because he's recuperating from back surgery). We've been planning this vacation for almost a year. Why Costa Rica? Four of us (my husband included) came to CR three years ago and loved it. As we recounted our experiences with other family members, they all wanted to go. So we decided we would plan ahead so everyone could save for it.

 

Our vacation was filled with wonderful sites -- rain forests with monkeys, a snake (eyelash viper), lots of birds (800 varieties are found in CR) and sloths, terrific beaches both on the Pacific and Caribbean sides and volcanos. It's natural beauty is astounding and the people are super friendly.

 

Of course, traveling with a large group has it challenges. The cost of car rental tripled with all the extra fees added. This limited us to 2 cars, 5 traveling in each car. Needless to say, it was crowded. Someone had to sit in the middle back seat on the hump, which was not a comfortable position.  The next challenge was the sleeping accommodations. Who was to get what rooms and which beds? Sometimes conflicts would arise, but I'm happy to say that hard feelings were quickly pushed aside, no grudges held. It was interesting to see how these difficulties were handled by the group.

 

We stayed at some beautiful places by Costa Rican standards. On the Caribbean side four of us slept in a beautiful, two-level tree house. That was an experience to remember. The others slept nearby in the cabana. While the treehouse was beautiful and fun to experience, it was a  little spooky having so many open areas that spiders and other insect could come in to visit during the night. Not many did, but it did make me a little nervous at night.

 

In the morning as the sun came up, the howler monkeys would start howling and birds would start chirping. It was a lively wake-up call at 5 a.m. in the morning. Evenings on the Caribbean side was fun as locals came out to enjoy the cooler temperatures. Bob Marley music played and all the bars and restaurants are open aired adding to the free feeling. It's so different from what our every day life in the States is. On the Pacific side, the sunsets were gorgeous as each night we watched the sun sink into the ocean.

 

Unfortunately one daughter was sick during most of the trip, and some of the others had short bouts of illness. I think eating foods they weren't accustomed to was the cause for some of it. In spite of the difficulties, it was wonderful to see everyone playing in the ocean or swimming in the pools together, hiking and laughing and just enjoying each other's company.

 

Costa Rica was an experience none of us will forget. All the experiences we've shared will last a lifetime and provide countless hours of reminiscing.

 

What has been your favorite vacation? Who did you travel with and what did you do? What made it memorable?


 

Everyone Has a Story

Everyone Has a Story

EVERYONE HAS A STORY TO TELL: WHAT'S YOURS?

Thirty years ago my mom and dad became snowbirds, abiding in Yuma, Arizona for six months of the year in an effort to avoid the cold, snowy Idaho winters. After my dad passed away, I insisted on accompanying my mother on her annual journey as a safety measure – after all a woman shouldn’t be driving that distance by herself.

 

Little did I know that I would come to value those yearly treks as we talked almost the entire distance of nearly 900 miles, enjoying our one-on-one time. I learned so much about her and her early life; yet knowing I would forget some of the stories, I encouraged her to write them down.

 

Five years ago, when my mother passed away, I found a folder filled with life stories she had written … some she had shared with me and others were new. As I read them, some made me laugh, others made me cry and all gave me a better understanding of who she was as a person. I soon realized that these stories were my mother’s legacy.

 

As I shared with friends the treasures I had inherited in these stories, all could relate. Some said they wish their parents or grandparents had written their life stories, some said their parents had and they were so glad they did, while others admitted they really needed to start writing their own memories.

 

Some people have commented, “Who would want to read about my life? It’s so boring.” To them I respond, “That’s just not true. Everyone has a story to tell!”

 

If you don’t think your life is interesting, consider these questions:

 

  • What changes have occurred throughout your lifetime? (technology, travel, cost of goods, education, social behavior)
  • What difficulties have you experienced and what lessons did you learn from them? (Sharing the lessons we learned will help our children and grandchildren better face their own challenges.)
  • Who are some of the people or events that have influenced your life? In what way?
  • What are some of the values and beliefs you cherish and would like to pass on to your posterity? Why?

 

If these questions don’t convince you that your life is of interest to others or that you have an important message to share, then ask yourself, “If I had a chance to talk with a deceased relative about his or her life, would I want to?” I think most of us would. I wish I had asked my grandfather who passed away at the age of 93 about his experiences as a missionary, requiring him to leave behind a wife and three young children. I wish I could talk with my dad about his wartime memories. I wonder what my great-grandmother’s life was like as a polygamist’s wife.

 

Just as you have a desire to learn more about your ancestors, your posterity will want to know about you and the life you have lived. Legacy writing provides a bond between generations, a rope to guide us through the difficulties that life may deal us, and a thread interwoven into our DNA that helps us to better understand who we are.

 

Start today to capture your memories for your posterity. Remember, “Your legacy is more than the fame or fortune you may have acquired, it is the life you have lived.”

 

To help you capture your stories, I wrote the book Your Legacy, Your Life. It's filled with hundreds of questions and memory words. There are stories written by me and others to remind of the important occasions you've experienced. There are also group activities so you can get your family, friends and even members of your social work started writing their memories.

 

Your Legacy is the Life You Have Lived.

Good memories, great stories.

Lynda

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions

Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions

According to the Statistic Brain Research Institute (http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/), 45% of American's make New Year's Resolutions each year. However, only 39% of people in their 20s achieve their goal, and the percentage drops with the older population as only 14% of people over 50 are adequately motivated to reach their goals.

I found it interesting that the first week, 75% have stayed on track, but by the time they reach 6 months, only 46% are motivated to continue. How are you doing with yours? Did you set a New Year's Resolution? If so, are you still committed to achieving it?

One year I decided I would never eat chocolate again as I was a chocoholic. That was about 26 years ago and I still haven't touched chocolate in any form. However, I have to admit that there are years I have set resolutions and fall in the 25% category of not getting past the first week. What's the difference in my level of commitment? I'm not sure, I wish I knew.

This year my goal is to continue writing my memories and life stories, but on a regularly scheduled basis. I thought you might enjoy reading the top 10 list of New Year's Resolutions provided by SBRI. And, to help those of you who have committed to doing one of these things, I've added some tips as to how you can use your resolution to help you start writing your life stories.

1. Lose Weight -- Our children and grandchildren would enjoy reading your thoughts about how society puts such a stigma on being overweight and your own struggle with weight control (if you do). What has worked for you and what hasn't.

2. Getting Organized -- It's time to organize your thoughts and start writing your stories. I would suggest you start with memories of your childhood and adolescent years and move into your adult years from there. Organize your stories in a binder, or sign up for the Writer's Platform where you will find writing prompts and you can write and safely store your stories for future generations. Sign up now and get a free 3-month trial: http://ylylshop.com/?product=legacy-writers-platform

3. Spend Less, Save More -- Share with your experiences with money (spending/saving and investing) and give them suggestions for being more successful in these areas.

4. Enjoy Life to the Fullest -- Sometimes we get so caught up in every day life, we forget to enjoy the moment. It's time to write your bucket list. If this were to be the last year of your life, what would you want to do with it? Plan today to life this year to the fullest.

5. Staying Fit and Healthy -- Exercise - both mental and physical are important to your well being. Set time each day to get to the gym or to walk a mile, and then set time aside to write your memories. Looking back over your accomplishments will help you feel better about your life, and counting the blessings you have enjoyed will help add to your peace of mind.

6. Learn Something Exciting -- Time to learn, to grow. Start a Memory Circle where you meet with family and/or friends to share memories. It's a great way to create a stronger bond with the people you love and to gain a respect for them and the challenges they have faced throughout their lives.

7. Quit Smoking -- I've never been a smoker, but I hear it is one of the hardest habits to break that there is. Keep a journal of your experience. Share it with your children and grandchildren to discourage them from ever starting. Remember that legacy writing is about more than just the good times in your life, it's also the hard times and the lessons learned.

8. Help Others in Their Dreams -- Ever feel depressed? Step outside your own little world to help someone else in need is a great way to feel better about life in general. Share with your child and grandchildren in your legacy writing what you did and how it made you feel. Encourage them to do volunteer work.

9. Fall in Love -- Have you fallen out of love with your spouse, don't have time for elderly parents or children. It's time to fall back into love. List each person you love and the attributes you love about him or her. Then take the time to write a legacy letter to each of them, expressing how special they are in your life and what you love and them. You'll find yourself falling in love again... in a very good way.

10. Spend More Time with Family -- Read number 6. Starting a Memory Circle with family will be a fun activity for everyone. In Your Legacy, Your Life, you'll find lots of activities and memory prompts. Memory Cards are available for group activities. Get started today to strengthen the bond between family members. These products are available at http://ylylshop.com.

Good luck with your New Year's Resolutions. Let us know how you're coming along and your ideas for meeting New Year's Resolutions by sharing comments on this post.

Good living, great life!

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